Fertile Schmertile

December 20, 2007

Happy Chaos

Filed under: infertility,parenthood — by M. @ 9:05 pm

Every other day, and the closer we come to starting our treatment, I panic a little and think, “Oh my goodness, what could we possibly be thinking?”  I mean, we’ve already got a pretty good thing going here, right?  Okay house, two cars, good jobs for both of us.  The Squirt just tops the whole thing off with a cherry. 

But along with that, I have to say this parenting gig is hard and we’ve only just begun.  One sick little person is pretty demanding when we’re both feeling well.  But two?  Things around the house get done by default–what might be dangerous to the baby or in some way bad for the baby comes first, second and third.  Anything else such as laundry, vacuuming, or bills gets done by accident or in emergency mode (as in “OMG, Bob and Louise are on their way here in FIVE minutes!! Hurry, quick, find a toilet and SCRUB IT!!)  The cat seems to already hate us all since the Squirt’s arrival, and only comes out once babe is safely behind closed nursery doors.  He wishes we’d pay a little more attention to his box and a little less attention to the loud, slobbering, runaround, thankyouverymuch.  So with all this chaos, messiness, and being down right worn out (HOW do single parents do it??), why in heaven’s name would we sign up for the possibility of another?

I’ll tell you why.  Right now, as I type this, there is a little boy in footie pajamas with a runny nose down the hall.  He’s not happy I put him to bed even though its 9pm.  And do you know what I hear?  “Mooooommyyyy, Mommy, Mommy.”  So despite the fact that the world appears to be falling apart around me, and the fact that there’s a little person calling for me…ME…makes me really not care so much about the other stuff.  To have little people loving and needing you and reaching out for you, to the point that you know you need them just as much, well, it makes you want to do it again.

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2 Comments »

  1. You know what? No matter how you choose to build your family, you struggle with this. I have been thinking the same thing. As we begin the adoption journey a second time, I keep looking at all I have and wondering why I need another child. But, Cameron needs a sibling. (My sisters are the greatest thing my parents ever did for me!!) And I need to be a mom more. It is hard and scary. I worry about how I am going to handle it when I am home alone with 2 kids for 60 hours a week while my husband works. But, in the end, it WILL all be worth it!

    Comment by Marci — December 21, 2007 @ 12:56 pm |Reply

  2. Hey, there, Mrs. Schmertile, wishing you the best. I have been there, although very long ago, and I know how hard it is. You are brave to start again, very brave.

    Comment by Margie — December 22, 2007 @ 6:58 pm |Reply


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