Fertile Schmertile

December 18, 2007

In The Beginning…

Filed under: adoption,infertility — by M. @ 10:02 pm

This is my new beginning.  The beginning of my own personal creation story?  Perhaps, but perhaps not.  With any luck, this part of my story will be brief, though when I look at the odds…that isn’t likely.

A little about me…married 14 years, tried to concieve for many of those years, went through natural cycles, then some with Clomid, and then a few IUI’s.  Unexplained infertility.  A diagnosis, no matter how terrible, would have gone a long way back then in helping me sort out and make sense of things.  But neither I or my husband had any exotic illness or malady to blame.  We just apparently aren’t cut out to make babies the old fashioned way.  I became somewhat consumed with the process, and I really hated that about myself.  Then at some point, we just got so sick of the infertility merry-go-round that we decided to buy a ticket instead for the adoption roller coaster.  Which had its own all-consuming aspects, but very different.  One and a half years later, we were blessed to be chosen as the parents to our incredible Squirt, and have become friends/family with his birthfamily.  As Squirt approaches 2, we see that he needs a little brother or sister to keep him and us grounded.  We weighed back and forth–adopt again?  try treatments again?

Which brings me to this blog and this place in my life.  After a visit to a kinder and gentler RE than we had in the past, we learned that if anything will work, it will be IVF/ICSI (Sounds like one of those crime dramas, doesn’t it?–“IVF/ICSI Miami”).

On my next cycle, I’ll be going in to get all my scans and bloodwork so that we can begin the “real deal” in February.  I’m somewhat scared to death–of things real and imagined.  Of what I can and can’t handle.  Of how others might perceive me based on the choices I’m making.

But regardless, here I am.

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3 Comments »

  1. E- I wish you luck with this. I hope it is a quick process and we are reading great results soon. And no judgment here. We all have to do what we have to do for our families. Who knows? Maybe we will end up with 2 more little ones close in age for playdates!!

    Comment by Marci — December 20, 2007 @ 3:23 pm |Reply

  2. I hope that this blog will be friendly for those not into the fertility lingo!!! I get confused about a lot of what I’ve read on the adoption forums from those who’ve gone the assisted fertility route first…..

    And please – if I ever write the wrong thing/term/phrase – DON”T be offended! It’s probably just ignorance on my part.

    I’m excited to read about this! We were married about 10 years, unexplained infertility (but didn’t really ask for an explanation, as we think we know the reasons) when we jumped on the roller coaster.

    I hope you get a lot of support on this blog, and even more – I hope it’s a great place for you to talk about your feelings as you go through this.

    GOOD LUCK!

    Comment by storkwatcher — January 3, 2008 @ 3:03 pm |Reply

  3. Thanks, Stork! I am still learning and re-learning the lingo. And you know I don’t offend easily. Feel free to ask whatever, cause ya’know, I’m not shy–my life tends to be an open book these days (infertility treatments does that to a girl!).

    Comment by M. — January 3, 2008 @ 3:15 pm |Reply


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